忧郁症康复之旅.Recovery Journey from Depression - Apr 2021

  Day 58 - 2021, June 12. FMCO Day 12th. Impatience begins to flow into me, anyhow, it's the endless process to be persistent. Persistent with that dream, that vision. Just be yourself, delete old version of me, and create new version of me. Be the youngster at the age 20s in your heart, it's an endless painful process. Just concentrate on myself, whichever other than my things, it's not necessary to please the others. As what stipulated in 自己的事，他人的事，老天爷的事。 As today is the last day of week 8th, 他人的事- I have be good to others, and week 9th - is a game changer point - 他人的事，随着6月12日这天12点凌晨-完全封锁。 Welcome week 9th - 2021 June 13 - 2021 June 19. A brand new one to please myself alone , and ignore the others. Depression comes from myself , that's true, but it partially originates from 40% to please others. To others, they don't give you a f***ing care , what's the point to care about it, and bring you to that disaster, which mainly caused by myself - old version of me ...

  Day 57 of Recovery - 2021, June 11.   Positivity begins the day, these 2 weeks - learn not to expecting anything return / target from what I try to do for my sister's kid (Frankly, it's feeling a big failure as well, as really no satisfaction at all as don't have any progress) Teenager take 16 years to grow in such a way, due to multiple factors / reasons. Not to says wrong, just immature at this age. However, I've been teenager before, I also only begin to study hard by the age of 17, but with a better foundation. I have trying my best for the past 2 weeks, and try to overcome my another biggest self obstacle - phobia of getting a kid (Most of the reason is myself - overthinking - as afraid my kids in future will be like them).    Anyhow, it's time to learn another part when it's comes to education for kids - not to expect any progress from the kid in short time. I have been a teacher before in 2009 - 2010 if not mistaken, being a high school teacher teaching...

    2021 年 6 月 8 日。 康复之旅第 54 天。失败 MCO 3.0 第 34 天， FMCO 第 8 天。 过去的 7 周过的并不容易，谢谢一直陪伴我，聆听我的朋友亲戚，兄弟等。 这 7 周算是人生低谷之一，虽然不是最低，却是因为忧郁症的出现导致自己一无所措。在经过阅读，听音乐，冥想，运动，以及尝试与新常态融合，并不能说完全康复，至少是有进展的。 忧郁症恐怖之处在于：它把你带到一个心境 - 完全不知所措，你这时候问我，为何会这样？我到现在答不到你，为何会如此？毕竟会因人而异，我的状况不外乎长期压力 + 疫情带来的生活改变而我不自觉地没改变，一味地工作工作（就是一直起身 - 去公司上班 - 回家 - 继续工作）。长期压力：我没好好运动，以及我缺乏与朋友们沟通社交，长期压抑而成。认识我的人都知道，我很喜欢在工作后吃个饭，喝一小杯，去有 live band 的酒吧听歌。其实那是我释放压力的几个小时，完成这些晚饭后，我回家后并不是直接冲凉睡觉，而是把当天未处理完成的工作继续完成。 为何为人工作那么拼？对不起，我从未替人打工，都以打工仔的心态去工作 , 而是每次以新鲜人的心态去学习。每换一份工作，虽然最多工作时间是 3 年，没公司打破这魔咒。这可能因种种因素而成，每个人都有弱点，这次我的忧郁症，告诉我 - 我这次的弱点是想太多以及不够胆去行动，以及如 Jim Carey 所说忧郁症的产生是因为你讨厌现在的虚幻人设或某个阶段的不想要的人格，而忘记了原本的自我或因某种刺激因素而创立新的人格。 每换一份工作，都有成长得道路。华为教会我的企业狼性文化；以及任总的企业管理模式。学习得最受用的一句，是由第一位供应链经理教导华为的理念，只能体会，不能字母领悟的 “ 财散人聚，财聚人散 ” 的一个格局。这个都影响我过后的管理模式。 港湾 - 东铁则教会我大环境如何影响一个企业的营运，操作。同时也令我了解到中国私企与国企的不同之处，如何在这两种企业打交道，沟通，工作，生存。 理文则是我第一份在工厂工作的环境。这里教会我工厂的苛刻环境，从零开始地建厂，也许是我那么多份工作，真的从 5 人的团队 -2019 年 12 月到 2021 年 4 月的 30 多人团队，最后在我忧郁症无法如常工作而被逼离职的情况下去离开。理文这 1...

    康复之旅第 47 天（ 2021 年 6 月 1 日） Recovery Day 47- 2021, June 1.MCO 3.0 Day 27th, so called FMCO Day 1   放纵了自己的第六周 (23/5 -29/5), 就一下子不受控制地胖了、颓废了。 The result of letting go myself, not being self discipline for week 6 : “Gained weight and lost my motivation “ Anyhow, week 7 (30/5 - 5/6) , time for learn to be driven to solve my own issue. As seen in one Chinese positive quote, there are only 3 types of matter which human going after during the whole life - Ourselves’ matter ( 自己的事 ), Other’s matter ( 别人的事） & God’s Matter ( 老天的事 ).   If I already given chance for the past 6 weeks to solve others matter and they don’t come automatically to me , then I will says once I have shut down my open door and focus on my own matter, don’t ask me why I don’t keep my promise to assist on your matter later.   As you know my style, I’m a person who take our friendship relationship seriously, I’m really straight forward person , but once you have push me to my ...